Two Halves
by NevalineCaroline
Summary: The Doctor is lost. He is drowning and it is Donna that throws him the life line. But will their friendship survive as it is? My thoughts on what could have happened. Donna didn't get married in this story. The Doctor/Donna


**_Just something I thought of. It's up to you if I go through with it or not... The rating might change later._**

It probably wasn't the best of ideas - especially his ideas - to spend so much time in a bar. Then again, desperate times call for desperate measures. Not that he mas really desperate. More like despairing... or rather lifeless. She wanted to change him and oh how he wanted to change. Anything for her. But whatever it was that attracted him to danger... no. Not danger. He just had an impulse to save others. Whatever the cost. Rose understood that in the begining, but now... she gave him an ultimatum. Give up that life or give up her. And to be completely honest, he couldn't picture having one and not having the other. She wanted children. And a home in the country side. He wanted that too. But in his mind, there was also the ever-present subtle hint of adventure in the scenario. But she wanted out. And he was unsure if he could go with her.

His fellow drinkers were eyeing him with uncertainty none of them wanting to approach the probably now very drunk man who had been a regular visitor for the past week. Not that he was violent. But he went through his drinks in triple the pace of any regular human being - a part of whatever was left of his time lord heritage - and that fact tended to scare anyone who would consider talking to him off on its own.

"Another." he told the bar tender after he downed another glass of the scotch. The bar tender shot him an annoyed look.

"I'm cutting you off pal." The Doctor's eyes flashed as he looked up at the man that dared defy him, a snarl on his lips.

"_Another._" An exasperated sigh passed the bar tender's lips.

"No. No _another_. You've had evough drinks for tonight." For a moment, just the briefest moment, the Doctor wanted to retaliate. To say that he was a Time Lord. That he was thirty times as old as he was. That he saved entire galaxies from threats compared to which he looked like a molecule of nitrogen in a tank of potassium. Then he remembered. He was John Smith, not the Doctor.

He pulled a couple of bills out of his wallet and threw it on the bar top, getting up.

"Keep the change." It was time to go home anyways.

* * *

"Where have you _been?_" Rose was pissed. He couldn't blame her. This was the fifth time this week he had come home late without letting her know. And it was Friday.

"Look Rose... I can explain." His hands were up in self defense half heartedly. He knew he was in the wrong and that there was no point in fighting. That he would only be insulting Rose's intelligence. She was blocking his way into the appartment, hands at her hips, an expression that would have had the Daleks crumbling at her feet.

"I don't _want _your explanation. When have we become this? When did it happen John? When did you begin needing to explain yourself? We were fine! But then you started closing off. And I can't deal with that." She took a small step back and he walked in and straight into the living room, sitting down on the couch. He could tell when she wanted to talk. She was right behind him and sat next to him, touching his hands lightly, a soft expression on her face.

"Talk to me John. I know that this is hard for you, but it is as hard for me. I lost a lot too." He looked at her and he could see it right there. Righ in her eyes. The sadness. It was always there and he knew why.

"No. You didn't. You got exactly what you wanted. A life with Him. Only you didn't want the replica. Oh no. You wanted the real two heartbeat thing. And instead you got me." She looked down and he knew he was right. The Doctor, the non-metochrysis hung as a clowd over them always. Neither ever spoke his name. Or rather, the name Rose knew. Even when either wanted to go to the doctor's, they would say 'medic's'.

"That's not true." Her tone made him laugh. She was such a terrible lier.

"You know, there are all those little things you want to change about me. My name, my way of life... but there was never one _single _thing you wanted to change about him." He was pressing her now and he could see she was getting uncomfortable to the point of unbarabelness. She was fidgeting and staring at her hands, avoiding any contact with him, her soft hand long ago withdrawn. He stood up and started pacing, fighting the urge to break something. "To be completely honest, I'm getting tired of this. I told you I loved you, but what you really heard was_ him _telling you." His voice was raising but he didn't care anymore. He needed to get this out. "That was all you cared about. I'm getting tired of you trying to change who I am. As if I wasn't as good as he was! As if..."

"You're not!" He froze on the spot, his back towards her. He knew she thought that, but it still hurt to hear her admit it. He walked out of the living room and back to the front door, taking his keys out of his pocket and dropping them on the ground. He then opened the door and took a deep breath. He didn't want to look at her. To remember her, the Rose that rejected him, instead of the Rose with whom he travelled time and space.

"Goodbye Rose." He took a step but she stopped him. Her hand on his. When did she get so close?

"Doctor..." He bristled at the name and shrugged her hand off.

"_Don't_." The snarl surprised even him. It was animal-like and threatening and he hated it. But he was part human and that's what humans do, don't they? Hurt the ones they care about? He didn't look at her but he could hear her sobbing. And it broke his heart.

He left her there and didn't look back.

* * *

The streets were dark and definitely not safe. He didn't care. He didn't have anywhere to go. All his life here revolved around Rose amd now he left her. Just like _He _did. And he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel guilty. He got to the Eye of London and remembered when he met her for the first time. He was different then. Bigger ears, shorter hair... a completely different personality. A tiny bit more jealous. They kissed for the first time then. Within his last couple of minutes.

He stared at the water of the Themes, wondering where he should go. He didn't know anyone in this reality except for Rose and her family. Maybe he could find someone if he had the TARDIS... but in London at this time...

Woosh...woosh...woosh...

He froze. He could tell that noise anytime anywhere. Turning slowly around, he could see the blue box materialize infront of him. He stared, unmoving, not daring to belive it. Nor knowing wether to be happy or angry. He didn't want to face _Him._ Not now. And he was pretty sure that if he came back, it wasn't for him. Finally deciding, he turned and started walking away. He could hear the door open but he ignored it as he picked up his pace.

"Hey, you! Stop!" He did. He recognized the voice, but it wasn't his own. He could hear footsteps approaching and he slowly turned around to come face to face with his previous incarnation.

"Good evening." He wanted to slap himself. This was the best he could come up with? His younger self grinned from ear to ear and grabbedhis hand, shaking it.

"Yes. A fantastic one. Listen, I know it is a stupid question, but what year is it?" He sighed and ran his hand across his face. And so it begins.

"July 23rd, 2013. This is London and I'm the Doctor." He watched the other's expression freeze and then unfreeze as he came to his own conclusion.

"A medical man. Fantastic!" it was rather amusing when he thought about it. He practically wished for this to happen. And ta da! Here was his ticket to wherever he wanted to go. But he wanted more. He wanted his life back.

"No. I'm the Doctor. Time Lord. Or at least half..." He stopped and frowned. He wasn't the Doctor. Just part. He opened his mouth to explain but the other interrupted him.

"Oh that is great! Fantastic! And on my first try! Hey, red!" He turned back to the TARDIS and the Doctor shot a curious glance at the space ship. "I found him!" The door started opening again and a woman's voice answered. A voice that almost made the Doctor pass out.

"Listen space boy. If this is a false alarm, I sware I will gut you." He stared at her when she appeared in the doorway. He couldn't believe it. She grinned at him when she saw him and started walking towards him, her red hair, freckles... the same as ever. And more importantly, she was alright. She was looking at him and she was alright. Finally reaching him, her smile widened and she offered him her arms.

"Donna." He hugged her and she hugged him back.

"Doctor." And for the first time since the beach, the name seemed to fit.

_**So... chapter one. Not much and quite short, but there It is. And It is up to you if I continue. Any and all reviews are welcome :)**_

_**NC**_


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